There are things about having a baby I somehow forgot in the three years since I had Jack. Having a newborn feels like a drug. I’m completely hypnotized by you, Margot. All I want to do is hold you close and give you tiny kisses. If I had remembered that feeling, I may have tried to have a baby sooner! There is nothing more extraordinary than caring for your own tiny living thing. Everything is intense as my heart sinks and swells with every breathe you take. I love watching you stretch and yawn. I love watching your bright eyes light up excitedly as you know you’re about to nurse. So many little moments that probably in a year from now I’ll read and maybe forget how significant they felt — but they are so hugely beautiful. I wish I could bottle them up and carry them around with me forever. Though if I never stop feeling this way — I may just never leave the house!
My little girl, how I love you. I actually wondered if it were possible to love more than one child. The intensity I’ve felt for Jack is boundless. But I’ve discovered — there is indeed room. You see, the heart just expands and it is incredible.
My little love is growing so! You were a big baby to begin with and you are nursing with enthusiasm and gaining weight with ease. You are already tracking black and white pictures and you love looking at the ceiling fan and window blinds. You are so curious already at four weeks old!
You love your momma and daddy very much. You don’t really like to be put down. Including at night. I honestly love nothing more than snuggling with my perfect girl all night, but I think it’s for the best if you reside next to me in the co-sleeper. So we are working on that nightly.
Sometimes I’ll take a step back and look at our family of four and feel proud. Three was lovely, but four — a nice even number — four’s a team. We are in this together. Four’s a family. We are one.
FROM THE ARCHIVES: See Jack when he was ONE month old!
We are so fortunate to announce — a little belated — the arrival of our daughter.
Margot Saint May
December 26, 2014
8lbs 15oz, 22 inches
She’s healthy and beyond lovely. Daryle and I are filled with love and amazement at the arrival of our precious one. Jack is being the best big brother and is really interested in everything Margot does.
Love and warmth,
Katie, Daryle and Jack
P.S. See Jack’s birth announcement here.
After my last post regarding my quest to encourage my baby to flip from being breech to a head down position, I went through many different levels of emotion. I mentioned how determined I was as my days were consumed doing inversion exercises, moxibustion / acupuncture treatments twice a day, and meeting with a chiropractor 2-3 times per week for the Webster Technique. I was indeed obsessed and a little out of my mind. After several weeks of treatments the baby stayed put, and I was in total fear.
I began to research breech deliveries and found out it was a true possibility. My midwives at GW Hospital felt that I would be an excellent candidate for breech delivery. Their practice does have experience delivering breech babies and the midwives work hand and hand with a couple of OBs who have skills with forceps for extra guidance should the baby need it as the head emerges last. Heavy stuff. Risky stuff. But not impossible. I researched more and discovered that breech deliveries were something that women have delivered from the beginning of time. No they weren’t routine, but the woman didn’t just die if her baby never turned vertex. The trouble is, OBs in the US have become out of practice since the 1980′s and have sent nearly all women with breech babies to the operating table. Delivering a breech baby turned into something that was an art form, a finite skill, to something no one knew how to do.
Today, interested OBs and midwives go as far as India to witness and learn how to deliver a breech baby. It can be done! My issue was that “all stars needed to align” for the team at the hospital to allow me to proceed. … The baby would need to be a reasonable size — and Jack was born 9lbs — which worried me. I am measuring smaller with this pregnancy, but I did worry that my body just makes big ole babies. I needed to have a normal blood pressure also, and all the emotional stress was causing my blood pressure readings to border just a little above average.
I had a melt down. I cried for four straight days out of fear that I wouldn’t meet all the criteria and would wind up in surgery. My family supported me for a delivery as did Daryle. I actually felt passionately determined, but yet I was so fucking scared of it not working out. Of me dying. Of my baby having brain damage or dying. On a Monday morning at 35 weeks, I wept silently through my Webster adjustment. And later that day when I met with my midwife — she knew I just needed to know. She felt my belly all over, felt down near my pelvis and said “that feels like a head.” She brought in the sonogram machine and quickly placed it on me — confirming that the baby’s head was DOWN. She had flipped in the middle of the night — because I never noticed it! Waves of emotion drew over me. Strength, power — the feeling of being in control of my body, tears streamed and hope rose again for a successful delivery.
It’s taken me a couple of weeks to get back online to share the news. I didn’t want to “jinx” the baby’s position because it’s been known to happen that a baby will flip back up to breech. But I do believe in my heart that she is going to stay head down. I enjoyed reading the point that eventually a baby’s head becomes too heavy and that’s why they naturally move to a head down position. So I will carry with me that she has a big head like me and will stay in the right spot from here on out.
Other than that, I am feeling huge! At times I really worry how I will juggle an active (nearly) three year old with a tiny baby. Jack has been my sweet baby — he has received all my love, attention, and heart for the last three solid years and will have a major adjustment once this little girl arrives. I want this baby to be as loved as he has been. I also don’t want Jack to feel deprived. I have a lot of love to give. I just pray for patience from all.
This past Monday, I had a series of eight contractions in a row. It took me a while and after they didn’t go away, I pulled out my labor app and tracked them some more. I had 12 more, mildly painful. Another emotional streak came over me. 37 weeks was sort of considered full-term, but I was not ready to go to the hospital. I drank some water and moved around and after awhile they subsided. From experience my midwife and doula separately agreed that those contractions mean the cervix is getting ready for delivery and that the baby may come early. Another point in this pregnancy that I wasn’t expecting. My midwife said “just when you think you have it figured out, there’s a change.” She said if more contractions begin to track them as I did. If they go away — continue on with my day. And if they continue, to give them a call. Second babies can progress quickly into what they referred as lighting labor. Bam! So in the meantime, I have packed my hospital bag, all baby clothes have been washed, and the car seat is ready. I’m just hoping to last as close to 39-40 weeks as possible because I think it’s best that way.
That’s all for now. Thank you truly for your interest reading my blog, love and support.
Hi my friends, I know it’s been an eternity since my last post. I’ve been re-thinking the voice I want this blog to have, whether I even want to write a blog any more and to be honest, I just don’t have a direct answer right now. I love Sunshine+Design and it’s been an important creative outlet for me over the last four, five (I can’t even remember) years. That said, I’d like to share some news…
First, I will be 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I’ve had an awesome pregnancy with #2. I think the second time around is actually easier because I’ve been so calm about everything. My main focus is on Jack and frankly, I don’t have the head-space to obsess about every tiny feeling the way it felt so natural to do when I was pregnant with Jack. I haven’t been tired — there’s just no room for that. In fact, I’ve felt the opposite — I’ve had lots of energy and pretty much have conducted my life the way I had been.
As you may have remembered from my first pregnancy three years ago, I am passionate about having a natural childbirth. In my heart I do believe there are way too many unnecessary c-sections in the US and I do not want to be part of that statistical group. I do believe the over-use of pitocin and epidural can create a snowball effect, distressing the baby and leading a doctor to advise an emergency cesarean when the baby doesn’t come after a set amount of time. I chose to have an unmedicated birth with Jack and that is my aim for this baby as well.
At my 31 week appointment, my midwife felt my belly and informed me that the baby was breech. My reply: fuck. She was so calm and told me not to stress. She advised me to do some exercises from the website Spinning Babies to help encourage the baby to turn head down. My midwife even said not to obsess and do the exercises 100 times a day, but just to bring them into my routine.
I would not describe myself as a “type-A” person. But I do have my pressure points. Learning that my babe is breech, I’ve gone from total depression, to angry, scared, and determined. I want this baby to flip. The trouble is, everyone I talk to outside of my midwife practice jumps to the fact that I am inevitably going to have a c-section. I don’t want to hear this.
I started seeing a chiropractor who specializes in the Webster Technique which helps encourage the baby to flip. I go in 3x a week where the chiropractor adjusts my spine to help create more room in my pelvis. It’s really quite fascinating and it feels incredible. I walk out of the office feeling relaxed with full of endorphins. It builds my courage and gives me hope.
I’ve also had an acupuncture session where the acupuncturist strongly advised me to incorporate moxibustion twice a days for 2 weeks. Moxibustion is an easy and inexpensive home remedy – you do not need to go to an office to have it done. (There are YouTube videos that show you how.) Smokeless moxa sticks are available on Amazon for next to nothing. You light one stick and hold it at the edge of your pinky toe — near the base of your toenail (so not right at the top, just a teeny bit lower).
Doing moxibustion is sort of like meditating. I turn on some Indian music, light a lemongrass candle, put my feet up and close my eyes to visualize the baby turning around. The coolest thing is, every time I do it, the baby really wakes up and begins moving around. My acupuncturist said it’s important to establish a strict routine for my body to follow — two times a day at the same time every day. I love trance it puts me in. I come out of the session feeling rejuvenated and again full of hope and determination.
I’m trying to stay positive that the baby will flip. Statistically only about 4% of babies will stay breech. I try to remind myself of the good stories I’ve heard — that some babies just like to stay near your heart, but eventually do flip. Some even take as long to flip as 37-38 weeks. That moxibustion, Webster and inversions work. I feel like a warrior in this fight — against the masses. I will not give up hope. I will march, and I will prevail no matter what. Now COME ON BABY, let’s dance.
If you’ve had a breech baby turn, I’d love to hear about your experience. I need all the positive stories I can get right now.
With love and thanks.
We’ve had the most lovely summer. Like it’s the nicest summer in the 11 years that I’ve been in DC. Most of the days have been in the low 80′s with zero humidity. It’s almost too cold for this Florida Orange to think about bringing my boy to the local pool. As you know I am a city girl. I love the bustle, the noise, the proximity to do anything, and I love taking Uber when I can’t get there fast enough. But I have one gripe, my sweet little local park, with a pavilion that houses a green roof (so cool right?!) has been tagged by some complete dummies. Look, I actually like graffiti. I appreciate seeing how a city has it’s local politics and flavors. But I’m a little pissed off at the profanity, drug references and general un-artistic-nature of this rubbish. On a bright side, Jack didn’t seem to care. But as he gets older and can actually understand what these words mean, I’d prefer him not learning them from the safe haven our neighborhood park is meant to provide.
WHAT TO DO?
1. I’ve called DC Parks and Rec. Someone put me through to an anonymous voice mail. I haven’t heard a peep and that was four days ago.
2. I tweeted the above picture to Muriel Bowser, my Ward Representative, and candidate for mayor, whom I have a sign in my front yard supporting her! No response either.
I’m not really sure what my options are other than getting in the car and going to a park in a better neighborhood. I’d love any suggestions if you have them.
Today marks 20 weeks into my pregnancy! Where does the time go, because that means I’m half-way there! I’m going to a wedding in Baltimore next weekend and it’s been sort of looming in the back of my thoughts all summer long. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to wear something I already owned. Up until this point, I’ve been squeezing into my regular summer clothes, but I do finally believe it’s time to get something with a little more room in the belly area. My girlfriend Rylee has been raving about ASOS’s selection for like years, so I checked out the maternity line and was amazed at how many different styles and items in general they have! Most of which aren’t insanely expensive like other maternity shops. So like a crazy, shopping-obsessed lady, I bought four options for this wedding (see above). I’m hoping at least one will work. If they do, I will surely be back for the rest of my fall wardrobe. If you are looking for cute, modern options that aren’t insultingly expensive, check out ASOS for some fresh new duds and let me know what you think! (BTW, this is NOT a sponsored post! It’s straight from my heart to yours.)
We are elated to share the news … You see, it would seem that I am going to have another baby! Yes indeed. I’ve been quiet as a mouse these last several months, I wonder if anyone besides spambots even reads this thing! Baby Mac 2.0 will be on his or her way this Christmas 2014! Yes, another Christmas baby. That would mark Jack on the 23rd and Daryle on the 25th. My money is on the 24th, wouldn’t that be fun?
I had a tough first trimester, and felt way worse than I did with Jack. For 10 weeks, I pretty much spent the entire day with morning sickness. I couldn’t handle the smell of cooking and hated the thought of anything besides toast. So after my long winded promise that I was Miss Number One Paleo Girl Forever and Ever, I’ve done a total 180 and am back to my old ways. Now that I am at 16 weeks pregnant though, I have so much more energy and have my normal appetite back. I suppose I should cut back on the ole breads, but they’re just so good!
Jack has been a sweet boy these last few months. When I ask him “what’s inside mommy’s belly?” he replies with glee “a baby!” My sweet angel, bless his heart. Every day I pray for a healthy, happy baby. We are beyond excited and a little bit freaked out by how we will juggle the babes. But at this point, we are more consumed by love for the new addition to our family!
Wow, I’ve been m.i.a. for over a month and this is what I come back with? Well yes. Hi. I am alive, I assure you. I’ve been in la la land. No literally dreaming of living in LA for like forever. I’ve been looking at jobs, houses, schools. Yes, dreaming, hoping and praying. We shall see if anything bites.
Sometimes I think about loosening my Sunshine+Design posts to be a bit more free, and include some random imagery like this. It caught my eye while I was looking at a job board of an ad agency based in LA. I have no idea what the context of this picture is. It’s disturbing and weird. Plus the look on those ladies’ faces is miserable. I love it for it’s bizarreness.
So yes, I’m here. If you ever want to talk about Los Angeles anything, I’m all ears. And if you’d like to see more gems like this picture, follow me on Pinterestisito!
Wuvy wuv kittens!
Here’s an idea I wish I had thought of: design a line of dresses that are stretchy and sturdy so that you can get on the floor and play with your kiddo, but then stand up and be wrinkle-free, put on a cute necklace and earrings, and off you go to meet your friends for a girl’s night out. Sold! Wait, but not only that, a dress that will grow with you, say if you are growing a little one inside of you. Hello my dear Sonnet James. I’m loving everything on the site: color block, stripes, navy and gold. They’ve got my name written on each item. And the prices are quite nice as well. Check out the entire line right here!
I haven’t been blogging a ton lately. I’ve really been focusing on Me. Nearly eight weeks ago I began what I called a detox cleanse. I reset. I was dying inside for something new. I was sluggish, in a very bad state of mind. I’m constantly wanting a change, a big change. I’ve been obsessing about our family relocating to a new city and searching for jobs and houses. I’ve just been all over the place emotionally. And I was feeling fat. I was fat. I never really lost all of my “baby weight” and there I was two years after having Jack. It’s hard to look in the mirror every day and think “so I guess this is just what I look like now;” and almost surrender to that. I hated that feeling.
I started that cleanse with determination. I needed something new. I followed the guidelines, I shopped the pre-set grocery lists and ate the meals, falling in love with every bite. I did keep snacking because I had that bad habit as part of my daily ritual. I barely lost a pound in the first week. But then the second week we weren’t supposed to snack. We could eat big meals, until we felt satisfied, but no grazing! I took that rule seriously and stopped. Then, the pounds started coming off. Seeing results only made me feel more determined. I would eat a large meal yes. And then in between for the longest time my brain would say “feed me” but I wasn’t actually hungry. It took many many weeks to re-train my brain to not want to snack. But it really worked! Now, I eat three meals a day, and that is it. Occasionally if one of the meals is small, I’ll make myself a smoothie to tie myself over (usually almond milk, banana, peanut butter, flax seeds and ice cubes — so yummy, it’s like a milkshake.) So now, almost eight weeks in, I’ve lost nine pounds which is thrilling! I feel fantastic. I feel happy inside! I have more energy and I’m sleeping better at night. I’ve retrained myself to eat less and to eat earlier (I used to eat at 10pm!!!). I’d love to lose more weight which I think would be better attained through more exercise. I’ve just never worshiped running or going to the gym. I never found the “zone” that other people talk about. I do attend yoga classes in a studio near my house or use the website YogaGlo when I can’t get away. My goal is to develop a better routine and with exercise, I’m quite certain I’ll be on top of the world. One thing at a time though.
The diet I’m loosely following is the Paleo diet. Don’t worry, I am not going to preach the Paleo mindset, because I haven’t really read about the whole hunters and gathers thing. Essentially I don’t eat dairy, gluten or sugar. The only oils I consume are Olive, flaxseed, avocado, and coconut. I do still eat the occasional potato and corn however, neither of which are allowed on Paleo. At this stage, I can’t argue the theories for or against it. All I can say is, I feel really good. I am happy, I have energy and I am nine pounds lighter!
Eating anywhere outside the house is hard at first. There is sugar in everything. There is soy in everything. There is canola oil, soybean oil, and corn oil in everything! These are cheap cheap cheap ingredients that are fillers. Even my beloved Trader Joe’s has tons of those ingredients in most of their packaged food. The hardest part of this diet is that you will be in the kitchen a lot more. I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but I generally didn’t feel like I had the time to cook. Well, I’ve had to make cooking a priority because I’m so invested in this lifestyle change. For me, the only way to be successful is to have a menu planned in advance. You have to have food on hand. I’ve re-used my Reinvent-21 recipes tons of times. I also bought the Winning at the Kitchen cookbook by the same nutritionist I did the initial cleanse from. I still love Gwyneth Paltrow’s It’s All Good cookbook. And now I scour Paleo blogs for recipe ideas. Nom Nom Paleo and Paleo Grubs are my new favorites.
Going forward, I feel like I’ve come so far that I imagine introducing any of those items back in to my life. I do still crave sweets. But there are a ton of crazy-delicious desserts you can make with coconut or almond flour and honey or maple syrup. As a double chocolate-chocoholic, believe me, I was skeptical at first too. Have you seen my lemon blueberry cake with icing on top? Another good one is this Paleo brownie recipe. Gahh, they’re so good I’ve made ‘em twice! The other day I was craving some thick and creamy Greek yogurt, so I allowed myself to have a small bowl. Other than that, I don’t want to eat slices of cheese or sandwich bread. Those habits have gone away. And the alternative is clean, nutrient rich, whole foods that fill me up, give me energy and a happy outlook on life!